Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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