Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
