literally had 100 drinks last night.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
