So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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