stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
