Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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