did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
