Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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