Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
