summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
