he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
