I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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