She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Actions speak louder than pants.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!