We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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