Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So many bounce houses so little time
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
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Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.