The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.