She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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