Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
