Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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