just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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