I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
