i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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