I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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