I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
