woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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