Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
