no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
