Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
