We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
