But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
