i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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