wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
