based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Vodka?
Forever.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
