Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
