OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
