yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
