Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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