my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize