I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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