My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
only you would photoshop your dick
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
