I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
