peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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