I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this beer tastes like vomit already
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
