im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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