those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw