We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."