We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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