Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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