the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
