you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
