so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
