Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
