Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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