Me too!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
