it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
