my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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