he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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