We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
