you would pick up someone in the library
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
