i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
