cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
