If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
time to smoke my breakfast
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize